Meant to Live: May 2022

Physical activity has been proven to relieve stress, improve memory, boost your overall mood and also treat mild to moderate depression and anxiety. For Mental Health Awareness Month, local dad and middle school teacher Mike Lerchenfeldt shares how he gets to spend more time with his family while fostering a healthy lifestyle by prioritizing playtime.

By Mike Lerchenfeldt
Meant to Live Contributor

Exhausted. Tired. House is a mess after our kids pull out every toy that we own.

Kids are a tornado that can hit at any moment without notice. Not only do they destroy our house, but they suck up all our energy and time. Of course, we still love them, right?

This is our crazy, fun, yet exhausting, life.

After we have taken care of our kids, we must find time to take care of ourselves. When we barely have time to see friends, read, or watch Netflix, we must try to squeeze in a workout – usually at the end of a full workday, which includes grading papers, working on lesson plans, and having virtual meetings with parents or students in addition to meal preparation and household chores. Not to mention our favorite activity, which is playing with our kids.

This is the lesson that I have learned through being a parent over the past five years: It is all about PLAY! I want to live a long, healthy and fun-filled life with my children. For this reason, I have learned how to incorporate play time into my fitness routine. Utilizing fitness trackers and home workout apps, my family is heading in a healthy direction.

When we are playing on the floor or wrestling with the kids, we are doing a workout alongside them, including variations of burpees, push-ups, planks or squats. The kids see these activities and want to be a part of them.

Mystery workouts can be exciting, as well. Try using workout dice specifically designed for young children, which can offer numerous combinations of activities that will get everyone moving and improve balance, flexibility and motor skills. Our daughter will enthusiastically do jumping jacks now. Our son is the perfect size for a kettlebell when we are doing squats.

As a family, we enjoy going on walks, hikes, jogs and runs outside with our dog. For winter, we bundle up with snow pants and other waterproof gear to stay warm. We go for a Christmas light viewing walk in our subdivision. Our 5-year-old daughter has become one of my favorite running partners. While she can’t necessarily run long distances, she loves to sprint with me back and forth throughout our yard.

If sprinting doesn’t sound fun, try going on a walk or jog while your little one rides a bike or scooter. We listen to music, sing and have an amazing time together. Sometimes we will stop in the grass to do yoga stretches. She always tells me, “We have some fun, Daddy.”

Not only are we having fun together, but we are developing our relationship with healthy activities. Overall, when we are outside, we are calm and happy.

Gardening outside with family can also be a form of exercise and meditation that has a positive effect on our mental health. Physical activity decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, and increases endorphins. Unfortunately, the Detroit Metropolitan Area is often ranked as one of the unhealthiest places in the United States. Studies show that exercise not only improves our physical health, but it can also help our mental health.

I believe in the magic of working out. It is my meditation. It is when I take deep breathes while slowing down my thoughts. It relieves my stress and nurtures my soul. It is when I think about what I am thankful for. It helps me feel better physically and mentally. I want to pass this passion on to my kids.

We need to take care of ourselves both physically and mentally. One way we can combat anxiety, depression, and suicide are with fitness. Exercise – and play – is such a good tool not only for our physical health, but for nurturing our mental health and family relationships as well. We show our kids how and why it is important to brush our teeth. Why not show them the importance of physical activity?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mike Lerchenfeldt is a freelance writer from Detroit. This Dad of two likes exploring places and supporting local businesses. Through teacher exchanges, he has traveled to Japan and New Zealand.

Playtime and physical activity can improve yours and your children's mental health

Physical activity has been proven to relieve stress, improve memory, boost your overall mood and also treat mild to moderate depression and ...

I love that, in the last two phases of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we aren't just watching the stories of big tough white guys. Now, we're seeing different perspectives. I think these stories — whether it's Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Black Widow, the Scarlet Witch, Shang-Chi and, now, Moon Knight — are so important because they show people who aren't men or who aren't white or who aren't neurotypical that they, too, can be superheroes.

I was instantly drawn to Marvel's latest TV show "Moon Knight" after hearing it was about a superhero with a mental illness. I immediately started watching because I knew, then and there, that this show would definitely be my cup of tea!

Not to give too much away for those who haven't yet watched, but Moon Knight is the alter ego of a man with dissociative identity disorder, a mental health condition characterized by the presence of at least two separate and distinct personalities. The disorder affects about 1% of the population, and it usually develops in response to childhood abuse or another traumatic event.

Moon Knight's identities are Steven Grant, a quirky British museum gift shop employee, and Marc Spector, an American mercenary and avatar for the Egyptian moon god Khonshu. Actor Oscar Isaac, who portrays Moon Knight, expertly switches between these two very different personalities (give this man an Emmy immediately)!

Issac said he did a lot of research on the disorder so he could respectfully represent it and put mental illness at the forefront of the show. He said that the memoir “A Fractured Mind" by scholar Robert B. Oxnam, who also has dissociative identity disorder, became his Bible while preparing for the role.

"I think it was just about being honest to what Dissociative Identity Disorder is, and honest to what a lot of people have to deal with. I think for us it was about authenticity, more than even story communication," he said. "I really wanted to do a character study, a point of view experience, so you’re not sitting back and just watching the story unfold, you are within the eyes of Steven and experiencing this thing that’s happening to him."

Isaac said doing this show hit close to home for him because his uncle suffers from mental health issues.

"He started crying watching an episode of 'Moon Knight' because, I think, it just felt like being seen," he said in an interview with Esquire Magazine.

I also recently learned that Max Bemis, the former frontman of one of my all-time favorite bands Say Anything, wrote several "Moon Knight" comic book issues as part of the Marvel Legacy publishing initiative. Bemis calls Moon Knight, "A book written by a mentally ill Jew about a mentally ill Jew," and said that writing it became his therapy. I have followed Bemis and his struggles with bipolar disorder for at least a decade; in fact, his openness about the disorder was one of the reasons I had the strength to first open up about my own struggles.

As the TV show expands Moon Knight's reach to a whole new following of fans, maybe it will become like therapy for others with mental illnesses — causing them to stop being ashamed, stop feeling alone and to find the inspiration to open up about their mental health as well.

Across social media, you'll see that people have fallen in love with both personalities of the Moon Knight. My hope is that, because of this show, people will show the same love and acceptance when they meet someone in real-life with this or any mental disorder.

Moon Knight, a superhero with a mental illness, joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe

I love that, in the last two phases of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we aren't just watching the stories of big tough white guys. Now, ...

Mental illnesses can be the cause of a lot of things. It can be the reason you randomly start crying in the middle of the day and the reason you have a distorted self-image. It can cause you to be impulsive, have frequent mood swings or feel uncomfortable in crowds. It can be the reason you sleep too much, or sleep too little. It can be why you can't get out of bed in the morning, why you haven't showered in days, or why there are dishes piled up in the sink.

Let me say it again: Mental illnesses can cause a lot of things. And these things are in no way your fault. But if you're an abusive person — well, I'm sorry but your mental illness is not to blame for that. That's all on you.

"Conflating mental illness with cruelty adds to the stigma of mental illness. ... Repeating hurtful choices is just that – a choice. A nasty pattern of behaviour is not something that should be allowed simply because someone has a mental illness," writes Hattie Gladwell, reporter with the Metro.

I'm bringing all this up, of course, because of the most talked about trial of the year — Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard — and the fact that, last week, a psychologist testified that she diagnosed Heard with borderline and histrionic personality disorders.

Experts say this trial is causing "untold damage" to people with personality disorders. Heard has been accused of some horrific things, such as throwing a vodka bottle at Depp and cutting off the tip of his middle finger, kicking a bathroom door into his head, and defecating in his bed. BPD is already one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood mental illnesses — and all of this certainly doesn't help. People are worried that Heard's diagnosis will perpetuate this stigma and the myth that mental illness causes people to act violently.

But, as Nancy Erickson, an attorney on domestic violence legal issues, told DomesticShelters.org, "Domestic abuse is a behavior, not a symptom of a mental illness. ... Too many abusers want to claim they have a disorder. They’ll claim they’re depressed, and the depression is making them do that. No disorder makes you (do that)."

To be diagnosed with BPD, you have to exhibit at least five of the following nine symptoms:

Intense fear of abandonment
A pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships
Unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsive and potentially self-damaging behaviors, such as promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse or reckless driving
Suicidal or self-harming behavior
Instability and mood swings
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger
Paranoid idealization, delusions or severe dissociation

As you can see "being violent" is not a symptom. According to the Women’s Centre for Health Matters, "Those who suffer from BPD are genuinely suffering and do not choose to be this way. Unfortunately, many people dismiss those with BPD as manipulative, destructive, and violent. Media portrayals of people with BPD show them as violent because of strong tendencies towards angry outbursts, but this is a minute representation out of the hundreds of BPD trait combinations."

I've seen people across social media say they are now scared to talk about their own BPD because of Heard, and this makes me so sad. Just because she may have BPD, in no way is that a reflection of you. You may both have BPD, but that's where the similarities stop. She also has a history of anxiety – and so do I – but that doesn't mean we are anything alike. These are characteristics of hers, like blonde hair and green eyes, that have nothing to do with the alleged abuse. As Twitter user Pia Blossom wrote, "Having BPD does not make you an abusive person, being abusive makes you an abusive person."

Please don't be ashamed of your mental health condition. I know that this diagnosis makes your life harder but one thing it doesn't do is make you a bad person. Talking about it, seeking treatment and continuing to live your life, day-by-day, no matter how difficult it may seem — that makes you a brave and resilient person. And that's definitely something to be proud of.

Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard: 'Domestic abuse is a behavior, not a symptom of a mental illness'

Mental illnesses can be the cause of a lot of things. It can be the reason you randomly start crying in the middle of the day and the reason...

Playtime and physical activity can improve yours and your children's mental health

Moon Knight, a superhero with a mental illness, joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard: 'Domestic abuse is a behavior, not a symptom of a mental illness'

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