Meant to Live: 2020

Last weekend, I had what could be considered my last hoorah as we descend into the next wave of the COVID-19 pandemic, and we indefinitely lock ourselves inside our homes again. So, that means I drank more than my 32-year-old body can really handle.

My friend and I went out on the town (yes, we wore our masks and social distanced) for eight hours on Sunday, putting our fair share of money back into the local economy (at least that's what I say to make myself feel better about how much I spent).

As soon as I returned home, I had one of the worst panic attacks I've had in a long time. And it made me wonder, was the panic attack because of the alcohol? For people with a mental illness, does drinking exacerbate our symptoms?

I mean of course I know it affects people with the mental illness of substance abuse differently than those who don't struggle with alcoholism. But does alcohol also affect people with other mental illnesses, like depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder?

Well, alcohol is a depressant, and depressants affect the central nervous system, slowing down the messages between the brain and body. So, it's bound to especially affect those of us who already have out-of-whack brains when we're sober.

So, how exactly does alcohol affect those of us with a mental illness. Here are some things to watch out for:

1. People with mental health disorders are more at risk for addiction than other populations, according to the American Addiction Centers.

2. Drinking can counteract the benefits of your antidepressants, and it can also worsen the side effects of your medication, according to the Mayo Clinic.

3. Alcohol can lower serotonin and norepinephrine levels, which help regulate mood. Decreased levels of these chemicals can make a depressed person feel even more depressed, according to Clearview Treatment Programs.

3. While one or two drinks may ease your anxiety, more than that can have the opposite effect. More than that can make you feel fatigued, hopeless, unable to concentrate, and irritable.

4. Hangovers suck for most people, but for someone who already has anxiety, the symptoms are often intensified. According to Medical News Today, dehydration, an upset stomach, and exhaustion may make anxiety feel more physically and emotionally intense.

5. Alcohol can make you lose your inhibitions, and, if you have suicidal ideations when your sober, adding alcohol into the mix may make you more likely to act on it or self harm.

The truth is: For those of us who do struggle with our mental health, we need to keep an eye on our alcohol consumption more than our peers. And it may mean you have to quit altogether. You know your body; you know your mind. Listen to it. Do what's right for your mental health.

Does alcohol affect people with a mental illness differently?

Last weekend, I had what could be considered my last hoorah as we descend into the next wave of the COVID-19 pandemic, and we indefinitely l...

You're feeling particularly fabulous and decide to take a selfie. The post only gets a couple likes, while your friend's picture gets hundreds. You immediately feel self-conscious when you, previously, were feeling pretty damn good about yourself.

You've been struggling to lose weight, and, when you scroll through social media, all you can see is your friends, celebs and influencers, showing off their bikini ready bodies.

You just went through a devastating break-up, and, as soon as you open Instagram, there's another friend, displaying her new diamond engagement ring.

You scroll through photos of your former classmates' trip to Cancun, while you're struggling to pay your monthly rent.

You've been trying to have a baby for years, praying each month that you will see two lines on your pregnancy test instead of one; yet every time you get on Facebook, you see someone else posting their pregnancy announcement.

Before social media, we wouldn't know. We wouldn't know how successful the kid who bullied us in school turned out to be. We wouldn't know what our ex's new significant other looked like. And we wouldn't be constantly comparing our lives to everyone else because everyone else's lives wouldn't be so accessible to us.

Of course, there is good that comes out of social media. Especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, social media is a way to feel more connected with the friends you can't see in person. It's a way to keep up-to-date and stay in contact with people you otherwise probably would have lost touch with. Through social media, people have started and spread important movements, like Black Lives Matter and #MeToo. It's also a way to share your ideas and creativity and maybe to even become famous from the comfort of your home.

But there is also the bad. Like actor Bill Murray said, "Social media is training us to compare our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder why everyone is always depressed."

Research shows that the average adults spends about two hours and the average teenager spends about nine hours on social media each day — and these numbers have surely increased in 2020 with most of us spending a lot more time bored at home. But experts say it's not necessarily the time spent on social media that's a problem. It's the content we are consuming that affects our mental health.

In a CNN column by singer, actress and mental health awareness advocate Selena Gomez, she wrote, "We are constantly bombarded with images and social media posts that make people feel like they need to achieve perfection, which is unattainable."

"I'm actually a big advocate for social media detoxes ... I try to remember that everyone is usually sharing a highlight reel and only their best photos, and that I don't need to feel bad."

Here are some ways you can help limit the effects social media has on yours and others' mental health:

Take a social media detox.
You can temporarily deactivate your Facebook and Instagram. When you reactivate it, all of your pictures, posts and friends will come back, just as you left it, whenever you're ready. (For those of us who are affected by all the political arguments on social media, it's not a bad idea to deactivate until after Nov. 3).

Or, if you just need a break from the temptation of checking your phone, turn it on airplane mode or put it in another room. Even better, if you don't trust yourself, buy this time locking container on Amazon — you set a timer on the box and it will not unlock until the timer reaches zero.

Delete your social media apps from your phone.
One of my Facebook friends said she did this to limit the easy accessibility, and she, instead, gives herself designated times to visit the websites — twice a day, in the morning before work and after dinner.

Unfollow or mute people whose posts are affecting your self-esteem.
I'm not saying it's their fault. People shouldn't stop posting their engagement photos because they don't want to offend their single friends. But if you are in a dark place and it's affecting your mental health to see friends' gushy posts about how in love they are, you can "mute" them so they don't show up on your social media feeds. You aren't deleting them; you just can stop seeing their posts until you are in a better head space. And there's nothing wrong with deleting people either. If certain accounts don't make you feel good, you don't need that negativity in your life. Don't feel bad about unfollowing; your own health is way more important.e

Be authentic on social media.

Don't just share a filtered version of your life, but talk about the things that matter. Talk about your bad days and the days you're struggling with your mental health. For one, it's really comforting to get it off your chest and to give your friends the opportunity to show their support. It will also help your followers going through the same thing know they're not alone. It'll make more of a difference than the perfect selfie ever would.

How social media can be bad for our mental health

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My New Year's resolution was to write a blog post once a week. January, I was going strong; February and March I did okay. But when the whole world changed, it was a struggle to write a blog about mental health when I was struggling with my own mental health.

In the spring and summer months, when the sun was shining and we could enjoy the outdoors and sit on restaurant patios, my mental health started to return to normal, and I could find some silver linings in life (like: being able to work in sweatpants, not having to drive during rush hour and having more free time than I've had in forever).

Now, in the last month or so, as the days are getting shorter and colder, I can feel my mental health starting to plummet again (even though Halloween is my favorite time of year, it sucks!)

Seasonal affective disorder + the COVID pandemic = not fun.

It's been harder for me to stay motivated. It's harder for me to make myself get out of bed in the morning. I've lost a lot of my creativity. Many days, I just feel like a zombie with no concept of time except whether it's a weekday or a weekend. And, probably worst of all, my self-confidence has completely nosedived.

So, I know, this blog post doesn't really offer any advice or anything helpful (sorry about that!)

I guess the point is to say that it can be cleansing just to get it off your chest. To yell into the void: "Ahhh! I'm not coping well right now!"

When you do talk about it, you'll realize you're not alone. A few days ago, someone I used to work with reached out to me. She said, "As a mother of a daughter with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues, I appreciate your honesty and bravery in taking on the discussion. And, by the way, I'm also sick and tired of (this) too."

And this meant so much to me. Because even though I may sleep, watch Netflix and wallow more than usual, knowing that I helped just one person not feel so alone because I talked about it, it made me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile in the midst of all this mess.

This year sucks: It's okay to talk about it

My New Year's resolution was to write a blog post once a week. January, I was going strong; February and March I did okay. But when the ...

Has the entire year of 2020 — the COVID-19 pandemic, the racial injustice and now the upcoming election — caused you to feel like your mental health just plummeted down 100 flights of stairs and went *splat* on the sidewalk?

This week has been especially hard on me and my anxiety — because of that train-wreck of a presidential debate and because of the name calling and hatred spewed across social media by Facebook "friends" against anyone who isn't supporting "their" candidate.

First and foremost, I want to say, if you are struggling with your mental health like me, it's okay to not watch any more of the debates. If it affects your mental health, it's not worth it. And, with how much the candidates talked over top of each other, it's not like we're really learning anything new about their stances anyway.

My friend Kate Hardy, founder of the suicide prevention nonprofit Six Feet Over, said, "To all of you who braved (the) debate, take some time to step back and breathe, reflect and don't let it all settle in. Keep the parts that are important to you. Let the rest go. Not to say you shouldn't remember them, but don't hold onto them. You have enough right now."

So, that was a wake up call for me! I really need to take Kate's advice to heart, that's for sure!

I also want to say — you can disagree and talk bad about and call the opposing candidate a "liar" all over social media. I don't care. But please, please, please stop the name-calling and the hatred against the family members, friends and acquaintances who have different views than you.

This week, I've had people actually call my mental health into question because of who I'm voting for. One person questioned me for taking Xanax for my anxiety disorder. Another person commented on my Facebook page, "I think you may need to double down on some Rx meds and come again proper."

I'm sorry but...what?!

I don't see how bringing up and making fun of another's mental health is ever okay. Even during the debates, when Donald Trump started talking about Joe Biden's son Hunter and his battle with substance abuse disorder. That has NOTHING to do with politics! This election has gotten out of hand and has brought out the worst in people.

So, yes, let me make it clear. I've had anxiety disorder for most of my life. Since I was 19, I've taken the daily medication Celexa to regulate it. I also take Xanax as needed to treat my panic disorder (a medication I previously took about once a week but now take almost daily during the pandemic to decrease my panic and anxiety attacks).

Just like individuals with diabetes take medication that simulates the release of insulin, I too need to take medication for my health and to balance the serotonin in my brain. I'm not ashamed! I'll shout it from the rooftop, "I take Celexa and Xanax for my mental health!" (Well, maybe not because that would probably piss off my neighbors, but you know what I mean)

So, my point is this: IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOU, MAKING FUN OF THEM OR THEIR LOVED ONES AND THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE!

Some people are unfortunately still ignorant when it comes to mental illness. But just like any other illness you have, it's NOTHING to be ashamed of. One in four adults suffer from a mental illness. And that statistic was from BEFORE 2020 befell us all. So, to those of you struggling with your mental health right now, just know that you're not alone. And any illness, whether mental or physical, doesn't make your opinions and beliefs any less valid or valuable!

To anyone whose mental health is affected by the 2020 elections, I understand

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When many people imagine their futures, "having a baby" is one of the top things on their lists of what they want to do in life. But, for people with a mental illness, "to have a baby or not to have a baby, that is the question" isn't such an easy decision to make. For me, my anxiety has definitely made me doubt if I ever want to have children because:

1. I'm scared of passing my anxiety on to anyone else.

2. I'm scared of going without my anxiety meds for nine months.

3. I'm scared that, because of my propensity toward depression, that I'll suffer from postpartum depression after the baby is born.

4. When even the most menial things can make me anxious, I'm scared how raising a living human being will affect my anxiety.

During season 4 of "This is Us," the character Randall found out his daughter inherited his panic attacks. He said, "When you and I had kids, I couldn't wait to see what they got from me... Having anxiety and panic attacks is the thing about myself that I like the least." And, when he said that, I just started crying. Because, wow, I felt that deep in my bones.

If you have these same fears as me, below are some options and answers to the questions and worries you may have — things to consider before you decide to either start trying to have a baby or swear off pregnancy altogether:

Know that you're not just your mental illness — and your child won't be either: No matter if you have a mental illness or not, your child won't be "perfect," just like you're not "perfect," because that's what being human means. And I personally wouldn't want to live in a world where you can make a designer baby, picking out the exact traits you want it to have. That's creepy. And, oftentimes, it's humans' imperfections that are my favorite parts of them. So, yes, your baby may inherit your mental illness, or he/she may not. Your baby may inherit your migraines or your diabetes or the gap in your teeth or your acne or anything else you may not like about yourself. But your baby will also inherit your many amazing traits, too. That's the chance all parents take, not knowing how their baby will turn out. But it's a chance millions of people are willing to take — and I bet they'll tell you it was all worth it. You're not just your mental illness; there's so much more to you, so many traits that any child would be lucky to have.

There are medication options while pregnant: While you may not be able to take some of your normal meds, there is still treatment available while pregnant. Discuss your options with your therapist, physician and OB-GYN. According to the CDC, nine out of 10 women take medicine during pregnancy and, in some cases, stopping a medication can be more harmful than continuing to take it. You can visit Mayo Clinic's website for a list of some antidepressants safe to take while pregnant. Most studies show that SSRIs aren't associated with birth defects.

You can prepare for postpartum depression before you give birth: Just because you have a mental illness doesn't mean you'll suffer from postpartum depression, although it may put you at a higher risk. But, if you know there's a possibility, then you can prepare for it. Healthline writer Hattie Gladwell, who has bipolar disorder, said, "Learning more about the condition before I’m diagnosed with it — if I’m diagnosed with it — means that I have time to come to terms with it. ... I feel if I had experienced it without warning, I may have been in denial, worried that if I opened up about what I was experiencing, I’d be seen as a bad mother or a risk to my child. But knowing that postpartum depression affects between 13 and 19 percent of mothers helps me realize that this isn’t true. That I’m not alone. That other people go through it too and they’re not bad mothers."

Adopt: I am a big proponent of adoption. If you don't want to bring a child into the world or you can't have a baby of your own, there are so many children out there who already exist who are in need of a family to love and care for them. For local adoption resources, visit Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange or the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services' website.

Don't have children: Of course, there's always the option to not have kids. Having a child isn't the end-all-be-all. It's not something you should do because "all my friends are doing it." It's a decision you need to make for yourself. Humans have so much more purpose than just to procreate. Stop listening to your family members who keep pestering you, asking, "When are you having babies?" It's none of their business! You can live a great, fulfilling, world-changing life without having any children.

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Last week, I had a sore throat. And, in this world of COVID-19, this mild sore throat lead to a 24-hour anxiety attack.

I started sweating – which, of course, I thought meant I was dying – and I started taking my temperature over and over throughout the day, expecting to see a result of 100 degrees or higher (in reality, my temperature was a steady 97.4). Later, I found out that the sore throat was from acid reflux – not from the coronavirus.

There was a short time when we thought things were getting better as businesses began to reopen. But then, it was as if the coronavirus was announcing, “Psych! I’m still here!” It’s still surreal to think we’re on our fourth month of this. For me, that’s been four months of not seeing my co-workers or most of my friends, and, most difficult of all, four months of not seeing my parents (except for just a few minutes where they stood on my porch with their masks on to surprise me with a ham for Easter or presents and cake for my birthday). During my workday now, it has become a habit to scream into my empty house at least once a day. And sometimes, that’s the only time I actually use my voice in an eight-hour stretch.

Especially for those of us already struggling with a mental illness, the social isolation and the coronavirus related fear have most definitely affected our mental health. Frontline workers, COVID-19 patients and people who have lost a loved one to the virus are at a high risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder. If other outbreaks like SARS have been any indication, the mental health effects from COVID-19 are expected to endure even after this pandemic is over.

Fifty-six percent of American adults report that the COVID-19 crisis is harming their mental health, according to a poll by the Kaiser Family Foundation, and a national crisis mental health hotline reported receiving a nearly 1,000 percent spike in calls compared to this time last year.

According to an article in the Harvard Business Review, “The pandemic has made mental health a concern for everyone and also highlighted the important link between research, discovery and cure.” Harvard alum Jamie Anderson told the publication that he predicts there will be a couple silver linings to come out of COVID-19 – “The first is that mental health will be prioritized in the same way as physical health; the second is that the care advancements we’ve made through innovation and technology will be permanent and we can continue to scale them to help (people) regardless of where they live.”

The local organization Six Feet Over is partnering with the Crisis Text Line to help those anxious about the coronavirus. To reach crisis counselors, text SIS to 741741. If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t hesitate in seeking professional help. Check with your health insurance provider to see if they’re waiving co-pays for telehealth services for medical and behavioral health during the pandemic.

While it’s important to protect your physical health – continuing to wear a face covering while in public spaces, washing your hands, maintaining a six-foot distance, and limiting social gatherings – remember, it’s just as important to take care of your mental health. These are not normal times; we are continuing to experience a collective trauma. No matter how you’re spending this time or how you’re feeling, it’s okay and you’re not alone.

This column is set to be featured in the free Community Lifestyles paper during the weekend of July 18 in Rochester, Rochester Hills, Oakland Township, Lake Orion, Auburn Hills, Oxford, Washington Township, Romeo and Bruce Township.

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While some were snubbed at the 2020 Academy Awards *cough* female directors *cough*cough*, there were many "firsts" that occurred during the ceremony that deserve to be celebrated. The first non-English film to win Best Picture. The first woman to win Best Original Score. The first woman to conduct the orchestra. And the first person with Down syndrome to present an award.

Today, I got the chance to talk with Jenny Brown, CEO of Dutton Farm, an organization which provides adults with developmental disabilities support through programs and career opportunities. As someone who has dedicated her life to helping those born with Down syndrome –first her sister, Becca Smither, and then countless others – Jenny told me how crucial it is to have positive representation in Hollywood and everywhere else.

"Watching Zack Gottsagen make history as the first person with Down syndrome ever to present at the Oscars was a special moment to witness," said Jenny. "It is very encouraging to watch film-making become more intentionally inclusive and commit to the right for persons with disabilities to represent themselves rather than hiring a neruo-typical actor to take on roles to portray someone with a disability."

Zack starred alongside Shia LaBeouf in my favorite movie of 2019, "The Peanut Butter Falcon." The film centered around the journey of a young man with Down syndrome who escapes his care facility to pursue his dream of wrestling. Like the character he portrays, Zack too had a dream; his dream was to be an actor. This dream came true after Zack met filmmakers Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz at a camp for people with and without disabilities. He told them he wanted to be an actor, and they responded honestly by telling him that his chances were slim. Zack's response: "Write and direct and then I could be the star." And, so that's what the filmmaking duo did — spent the next five years writing a role specifically for Zack.

But, unfortunately, Zack's success is rare. Nearly 20 percent of people in the United States have a disability, yet only 1.6 percent of movie characters have a disability, according to a study by the USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism. And the percentage is even lower when it comes to these characters actually being played by someone with a disability. So, while it's huge that Zack became an actor and presented at the Oscars, Jenny says this is proof we still have a long way to go.

"It is apparent ... how far behind adults with disabilities (are) in the push for diversity and inclusion across all industries when this is the first time ever in history that a person with Down syndrome has taken the stage at the Oscars. Zack and Shia did a fantastic job together, and they showed us all just how easy and simple it is to include each other and embrace each others differences in true friendship and community," she said.

"My hope is to see a day where this special moment like we witnessed yesterday will become more normalized in our society, and we will see representation of people with developmental disabilities in Hollywood and the media on a regular basis."

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While some were snubbed at the 2020 Academy Awards *cough* female directors *cough*cough*, there were many "firsts" that occu...

Does alcohol affect people with a mental illness differently?

How social media can be bad for our mental health

This year sucks: It's okay to talk about it

To anyone whose mental health is affected by the 2020 elections, I understand

What to do if you're scared of having a child because of your mental illness

Recent study shows that Botox injections may reduce depression

Disparities in mental health care for minority groups

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Black stories are necessary in the fight against racism

Does PMS affect our mental health?

The difference between panic attacks and anxiety attacks

You're not alone; this is making us all feel crazy

It's important to take care of your mental health during the coronavirus pandemic

Biden and Sanders' stances on mental health

Local advocate hopes to see more representation of developmental disabilities in Hollywood

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