Middle schooler reportedly loses life to suicide after being bullied

A middle schooler in the community reportedly lost his life to suicide yesterday.

I'm not going to give any details of his identity.  I am currently trying to get a hold of his mother to get her permission to share his story. But according to parents of children at the school, this boy was regularly bullied.

Bully victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University. Research shows that being bullied by peers in childhood has long-term adverse effects on young adults' mental health (Lereya, Copeland, Costello, & Wolke, 2015).

Nearly 1 in 3 students report being bullied, and it breaks my heart that more is not done about this. If a student was abused at home, authorities would be called. Yet, everyday, kids are being physically and mentally abused within the school walls. And this has been going on for decades.

One of my friends told me that she was once punched by another student and, when the principal heard about it, the other girl didn't get in trouble. Instead my friend was told, "You must have done something to provoke her."

So what can you do about this?

 1. Parents, tell your kids that bullying is unacceptable.
It starts at home. Teach your kids how to treat others with respect and kindness. Tell them there will be serious consequences if you ever find out that he or she is bullying.

2. Talk to your kids about sticking up for someone who is being bullied.
When bystanders intervene, bullying stops with 10 seconds 57 percent of the time, according to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. Check out this article on Today's Parent for practical tools to teach your children on how to stand up to a bully.

3. Ask the school if there are any bully prevention programs and, if not, how to start one.
Oxford and Lake Orion High Schools formed Bully Busters six years ago where, every other week, one high school "bully buster" is assigned to each middle school classroom to teach his or her own lesson about bullying prevention. See if there are programs like this at your child's school and, if not, what can be done to start one.  Check out tips on how to start an anti-bullying program.

Bullying is an epidemic. I encourage everyone to do whatever they can to stop it. Do it in memory of this middle schooler, who lost his life because of bullying. Do it to try and save others from this same fate.

Monica's goal is to raise awareness about suicide and help erase the stigma associated with mental illness. In 2012, she won first place in News Enterprise Reporting by the Michigan Press Association for her series on suicide in the community, and in 2013, was named “Digital Innovator of the Year” by the Local Media Association. In 2019, she received the Ambassador Award from the suicide prevention nonprofit Six Feet Over. She started the blog Meant to Live to help others by sharing signs of depression, reasons to live, resources, suicide and bullying prevention groups, other people’s stories and memorials. She especially wants to show people that they are not alone.

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12 comments

  1. AmandaMarch 17, 2016 at 1:41 PM

    This is a very devastating event that has occurred in our community. My heart breaks for this family and their loss. As a parent of a student at the middle school I'm seeing the situation discussed between kids and there are many speculations that are probably being made. Especially with different stories being shared and slightly changed with each person they reach. Right now, this family needs to have support and not be bothered with questions about their loss. If they want to share their story then they will when the time is right. We as a community need to respect their privacy and offer our love, hope, and prayers.

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  2. UnknownMarch 17, 2016 at 2:57 PM

    This is a classmate of my daughters, and there is so muuch bullting going on at her school, my daughter is special needs in a wheelchair and has friends with special needs there also, the have been bullied this year so much, we are now dealing with anxiety and mental health everyday,it makes it hard to attend school,we are saddened by this current trajedy and loss of our friend, if you would like to contact me please email me at malisashaw@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 17, 2016 at 2:59 PM

    This is a classmate of my daughters, and there is so muuch bullting going on at her school, my daughter is special needs in a wheelchair and has friends with special needs there also, the have been bullied this year so much, we are now dealing with anxiety and mental health everyday,it makes it hard to attend school,we are saddened by this current trajedy and loss of our friend, if you would like to contact me please email me at malisashaw@yahoo.com

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousMarch 17, 2016 at 8:22 PM

      I hope you let the superintendent and school board know this.

      Delete
    2. Monica DrakeMarch 18, 2016 at 5:52 AM

      Omg that breaks my heart! Has anyone at the school done anything about this?

      Delete
  4. AmyMarch 17, 2016 at 3:16 PM

    You are trying to contact the family??? This precious child just died - PLEASE LET THEM GRIEVE!

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    Replies
    1. Monica DrakeMarch 18, 2016 at 5:51 AM

      I told her I understand if she doesn't want to talk but I just wanted to give her the chance to have a memorial article written about him. She can take all the time she wants.

      Delete
    2. GuestMarch 18, 2016 at 9:38 AM

      Thank you! I am appalled that anyone would contact them for anything less than giving condolences. Audacity!

      Delete
  5. AmyMarch 17, 2016 at 3:16 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. KeplingMarch 18, 2016 at 2:04 PM

    Trying to get the straight story from the parents right now is hard, why? Because their world is in shambles. How do I know because I've lived it. Michigan's bullying prevention law is named after our son, "The Matt Epling Safe School Law." ( hoping that most of you knew there was such a thing and that your school by law must have a policy. NOw implementing it is another thing. BUT schools also should be talking about suicide as per the "Chase Edwards Law" ( are they?) Bullying is a major issue in all schools yet it is talked about but not a lot really done about it. Personally I've talked with thousands of students across MI with one school taking my "Hero in the Hallway" idea to new heights with a reduction of 20% in incidents. Students create 80% of the turmoil and many wish to help stop it but schools are not trained properly. We have to talk openly about the tough situations and if schools won't address bullying they will never address suicide AND most schools try to keep them separated when they are terribly intertwined. Also we need to get students and adults alike to use the OK2SAY tool that is provided for them. Report incidents to help stem further incidents. BY teaching kids they are not telling on each other to get people in trouble, they are really doing so to keep each other safe. Students can be Heroes, sometimes the adults need to get out of the way. "Bullying is not a Student problem, it is an Adult problem.KME" kevinepling.com

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  7. klausNovember 4, 2024 at 3:29 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. klausNovember 4, 2024 at 3:29 AM

    Anxiety counseling cincinnati focuses on more than just symptom management; it also seeks to identify and overcome any underlying trauma that may be contributing to the patient's current state of distress. Having a therapist who understood my worried thoughts and could help me make sense of them was really comforting. Healing takes time, but it's worth it to take that first step toward a better, more peaceful future.

    ReplyDelete