Meant to Live: February 2016

Just because you suffer from mental illness doesn't mean that you can't be successful and follow your dreams.

Case in point – Leonardo DiCaprio, who won his first Oscar yesterday after being nominated six times. DiCaprio said this has been his dream ever since he was a little kid.

But did you know that DiCaprio has had obsessive compulsive disorder for most of his adult life?

About 10 years ago, while filming "The Aviator," DiCaprio admitted that he fights the urge to walk through doorways several times and step on every chewing gum stain he sees.

"I remember as a child, stepping on cracks on the way to school and having to walk back a block and step on that same crack," DiCaprio told About.com.

But this talented man didn't let this hold him back. He promised himself that he would not let his OCD take over his life.

I have met people who suffer from mental illness who think that, because of it, something is wrong with them. They let it hold them back from working toward their dreams. I hope that DiCaprio can teach you that, with treatment, anything is possible and you can achieve anything you put your mind to – and maybe even win an Oscar.

"If you can do what you do best and be happy, you're further along in life than most people," DiCaprio said.

Did you know that Charlize Theron and Julianne Moore, Oscar winners and presenters during last night's Academy Awards, also suffer from OCD?

Theron told Australian radio show Kyle and Jackie O, "I have OCD, which is not fun. ... I have to be incredibly tidy and organized or it messes with my mind and switches off on me."

"I have a problem with cabinets being messy and people just shoving things in and closing the door. I will lie in bed and not be able to sleep because I'll say to myself: 'I think I saw something in that cabinet that just shouldn't be there.'"

And Moore told The Guardian that she would leave her house at a certain time, at a certain pace, so that there would be green lights rather than red.

So, if you think because you are diagnosed with OCD or any other mental illness that you an unable to accomplish your dreams, take a page from these actors' books. As Moore says, "You could be dead, so just do it. That’s my attitude now: just jam it in. Just do it.”

Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't let OCD hold him back from his dreams

Just because you suffer from mental illness doesn't mean that you can't be successful and follow your dreams. Case in point – Le...

I don't think I've ever been so excited for a TV show as I am for "Fuller House," which premiered on Netflix today.

"Full House" was known for its countless life lessons, like you shouldn't put a goldfish in a bubble bath. And now, 21 years after the final episode ran, the gang is back (sans the Olsen twins).

But, in those two decades, the cast has gone through more problems than just dealing with a zit on their nose.

Actress Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie Tanner) was addicted to crystal meth and alcohol, and Candace Cameron Bure (DJ) battled with bulimia.

Here are 10 times the "Tanner sisters" were real about their mental illness and addiction:

1. "I will have five years (of sobriety) in March. It’s given me a lot of gratitude," Jodie told People Magazine.

2. "For me, the first time that I drank, I knew that I couldn't drink normally. It was not something that I was ever capable of doing," Jodie said on the series Blazing Borders.

3. Cameron said, "Binging and purging felt like an automatic response to the emotions I was feeling. Somehow, it made me feel like I was able to regain control."

4. "I finally realized that food is going to be there tomorrow. It seems like the most obvious, easy reminder, but it really works. Remember it's OK to say no or push the plate away. I learned about proper portions and how to eat healthy on a daily basis," Cameron told Health Magazine,

5. Jodie said, "It gets very ugly in-between my ears. I meditate in the morning. ... I try to stay very focused on where I am and what I'm doing at that moment."

6. "(In 2008), I got a call that there was an emergency custody investigation because of my drinking. From that day forward, I threw myself into going to AA and avoided people who do blow off their coffee tables," Jodie told Us Magazine.

6. "I had to learn throughout sobriety the difference between shame and guilt. Shame is 'I am a bad person.' And guilt is, 'I feel bad for something I've done,'" she said.

7. Cameron told People, "I turned to food for comfort and had to find a different source, because clearly it wasn't a healthy way to deal with things. ... So that's really when my faith was kicked up a notch and (I) sought comfort in my relationship with God, and not with food."

8. "(I realized) I'm beautiful inside and out. ... I had to find my value and worth in (God's) eyes and not everyone else's," Cameron said on HLNtv.

9. Jodie said on Blazing Borders, "It really helps to share it with other people. What I've found is that a lot of the shame and the guilt and the feelings I have, when I share it with somebody else, they say, 'Oh my god. I feel like that too.' And then we go, 'That's really silly. That's not who you are.'"

10. "These things happen. And it's possible to come back. It's possible to start over," she said.

10 times 'Fuller House' stars were real about mental illness and addiction

I don't think I've ever been so excited for a TV show as I am for "Fuller House," which premiered on Netflix today....

I am starting to make a "Positivity Wall" in my apartment.

What is a "Positivity Wall," you may ask?

It's just as it sounds -- hanging positive quotes and affirmations on your wall.

I got this idea from my friend Caitlin Henry who, shortly after moving into her condo, started searching for positive quotes on Pinterest, such as Theodore Roosevelt's "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." She framed the quotes and displayed them in her bedroom and in the hallway.

"Having a positivity wall has been a game changer for me. It's always good to think positive especially when you think everything is going wrong in your life," Caitlin told me. "It is easy for me to sit and feel sorry for myself but seeing positive quotes reminds me that there's more to life that one simple event."

For me, the self consciousness only comes when the room is silent and I'm by myself. No one is there to say, "Stop it, you're beautiful! You've got this!"

When I'm coming home after a tough day at work or an exceptionally bad date, that's when I need the reminder, "Better things are coming." The purpose of the "Positivity Wall" is, when you're feeling down and you're by yourself, you can be the one to tell yourself these things.

When you're having a bad day, it's hard to think positive. These quotes on the wall are like letters sent from my happy self to my future not-so-happy self to remind her that it'll be okay.

So, why is it so important to keep your mind thinking positively?

Science writer Susan Reynolds said in Psychology Today, "Happy thoughts and positive thinking, in general, support brain growth, as well as the generation and reinforcement of new synapses, especially in your prefrontal cortex (PFC), which serves as the integration center of all of your brain-mind functions."

For those starting your own positivity wall, here are some ideas from Pinterest and on SkinnyMom.com. Just print out the quotes and frame them. It doesn't have to be an expensive project.

Leave a comment below with your favorite affirmation.

What is a Positivity Wall?

I am starting to make a "Positivity Wall" in my apartment. What is a "Positivity Wall," you may ask? It's just...

You've probably heard of the Blue Man Group — a group of three guys painted in blue known for their creative stage productions.

But this group doesn't have the "blue" market cornered.

Meet the Blue Woman Group, made up of comedians and board certified depressives Jacqueline Novak and Aparna Nancherla. But, other than the name, the similarities between the Blue Man Group and the Blue Woman Group end there.

Last month, Novak and Nancherla formed the Blue Woman Group and began recording a comedic audio guidebook for the "Depressive on the Go" about how to reclaim your life. They prove that, yes, you can be both depressed and funny. Each podcast begins with a "meditation" of sorts, including calming music, breathing exercises and quips between the two women.

"We're both comedians here in New York and writers and performers and we happen to also be depressives," Nancherla said in the first podcast on Jan. 27.

"We're trying to relate our experiences to people and also figure out our own solutions and workarounds to the daily bouts of existential drift. ... We've been where you've been."

The two women talk about difficult topics in a humorous way. In the podcast titled Crying in the Office, Novak said, "Maybe you're cowering in the stairwell, just trying to avoid other people. ... Just have a minute to yourself."

"We're here for you. You're safe. ... Take a breath and know that you're not rotting in the ground."

Novak is a stand-up comic who has been featured on The Late Late Show with James Corden, at comedy festivals across the country, and was named a New Wave Woman by Pandora. Novak’s comedy album, Quality Notions, is available on iTunes and her book "How to Weep in Public" will be available in bookstores on March 1.

Aparna is an experienced improviser who has studied at Washington Improv Theater, the Upright Citizen’s Brigade in both NY and LA, the Groundlings, and the Lesly Kahn’s school of acting. She recently wrote for Late Night with Seth Meyers on NBC and also wrote for and sometimes appeared on Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, on FXX.
Ladies, if ever you need a third "blue woman," call me!

Move over Blue Man Group, there's a new 'blue' group in town

You've probably heard of the Blue Man Group — a group of three guys painted in blue known for their creative stage productions. But th...

In the Harry Potter universe, Dementors feed upon human happiness. With a kiss, they can consume their victim's soul, leaving him or her in a permanently vegetative state.

Author J.K. Rowling describes Dementors as "among the foulest creatures that walk this earth" and that they "drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them."

"Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can’t see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you."

This creature was inspired by Rowling's own battle with depression when she was in her 20s. Rowling publicly admitted to feeling suicidal during this time in her life.

She told the Sunday Times of London, "I went through a really rough time, and I am quite proud that I got out of that."

So how did Rowling defeat the Dementors in her life and keep them from stealing her soul?

She sought help — scheduling an appointment with her general practitioner. And now she is helping others who are battling mental illness by encouraging them to seek help just as she did.

On Sunday night, an 18-year-old fan from Brazil tweeted to Rowling, using the Twitter handle @mtrssmustdie:

"Could you please teach me how to scare the dementors that have been living under my bed? I'm tired of being sad all the time. I'm tired of panic attacks and my head aching and those dark circles under my eyes. I'm really tired of not being who people want me to be because I try so f***ing hard to be that perfect friend or daughter but I can't make anything right. I wish I could just disappear, pack my things and leave. Someday I'll do it."

And, in a single tweet, Rowling delivered the perfect response:

They're bothering a unique, valuable human being who deserves happiness. Ask for help. Don't fight alone. Big hug. https://t.co/V8ocAHN1Ll
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 8, 2016

The decade after Rowling's battle with depression — one month before her 32nd birthday — was when "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" was published. Just think, if she would have killed herself, this world would have been deprived of one of the most well-known and influential literary characters of all time. None of us would have known of her brilliant mind.

We don't know what our lives have in store for us. But, if you take your life, you will never find out. I'm sure when Rowling was in her 20s, she never would have guessed, in a million years, what her future would hold for her.

I'm sure if Rowling could say anything to her younger self, she would tell her, "It gets better." And to anyone battling depression, that's what I'm saying to you.

Everyone has a purpose in this world. Seek help and don't let the "Dementors" suck the life out of you.

Click here to find a psychiatrist near you.

J.K. Rowling helps fan suffering from depression

In the Harry Potter universe, Dementors feed upon human happiness. With a kiss, they can consume their victim's soul, leaving him or h...

I like to think of myself as a strong, confident, hardworking, independent woman. But when I'm having an anxiety attack, I am someone completely different.

Some people have an invisible "angel" and "devil" on their shoulders. But, for me, I swear I have a little bully on my shoulder who will randomly show up and start insulting me.

"You're crazy. No one will ever love you. You're not special. You're ugly. If you ask someone for help, they'll be annoyed by you. You're going to fail. You're going to get fired from your job. Your friends and boyfriend (if I'm dating someone at the time) are going to get sick of you and leave. You're going to end up alone."

These are just some of the thoughts that go through my head when I'm having an anxiety attack.

There are some people I have confided in while having a panic attack who, as a result, left me -- calling me "needy" or "exhausting," saying I was just fishing for compliments or saying that they couldn't "handle me" (like I was a job or something). I've been told, "Stop acting crazy" or "Just calm down" or "What do you want me to do? I can't fix your problems" or "You have nothing to be upset about."

But when someone is going through an anxiety attack (like me), depression or any other kind of mental illness, they don't expect you to "fix it" for them. All they really want is for you to be there for them. They want to know that, no matter what, you still care about them. Because it's not a weakness and it's no fault of theirs that they feel this way. It's a chemical imbalance that causes their brains to spew lies at them.

So what should you say if someone you care about who is experiencing depression or any other kind of emotional disorder?

Here are some ideas:

And sometimes you don't have to say anything. Sometimes just being there, holding them and giving a Kleenex (and maybe some ice cream) while they cry is more than enough.